Good morning! Today I'm sharing my first art journal page... featuring my One Little Word for 2013. I really love the concept of OWL... it's "a word that I can focus on, mediate on, and reflect upon as I go about my daily life."
For the past 10 years or so I've struggled with chronic pain. My Dr.'s have been unable to explain what's causing it. Sometimes it's pretty unbearable. Other times I feel good, like really good and then out of the blue the pain just emerges, sometimes gradually, and sometimes it comes flying out of no where like a ton of bricks. There's no way to predict it, and just when I think I've figured out something that might be triggering it, it turns out it's probably not related at all.
Sometimes the pain makes it difficult to walk, or sit, or stand. Sometimes it affects my speech. Sometimes it keeps me lying in bed for days at a time. I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling this terrible I'd much rather curl up in my blanket with my heating pad and hibernate. That's pretty much what I've done... hibernate for far too long! Some days I feel like life is just passing me by... without out me! It's a strange feeling...
But I've decided that enough is enough. Although I've tried to advocate for myself to find answers as to what is causing the pain, no Dr. or specialist I've seen has been able to tell me anything. I've accepted the fact that I just might not ever know what is causing the pain. I'll just have to manage the pain as best as I can, and focus more on what I do know, what I can do, and what I would like to do, and nurture those things instead.
So this year I'm focusing on cultivating... relationships, my health, my art, and eventually a business, once I figure out what that will be. This art journal will help me to document the process, the progress, and allow me to experiment with some art journaling techniques.
I normally do not get so personal on my blog, but I know that many people struggle silently with chronic pain and/or what I refer to as "invisible illnesses"... illnesses that may not have visual symptoms such as lupus, fibromyalgia, post traumatic stress disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, lyme disease, and many others. I hope that sharing my story will help someone feel a little less alone in this struggle. Sending hugs to all of you! Thanks for stopping by today.